RIP

Beloved Mouse of the 505 Charlie Brown has passed away via Death Trap.RIP Homez.We'll pour some cab for ya!

Drunk as Fuck

Slammin' Pre-Disco Track

Sista from anotha Mista

"Well-behaved women rarely make history". -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Miss you Malaka!

<3 Mambawamba

Twilight Galaxy

Did they tell you, you should grow up

When you wanted to dream?

Did they warn you, better shape up

If you want to succeed?

I don't know about you, who are they talking to?

They're not talking to me.

Did I ask you for attention

When affection is what I need?

Thinking sorrow is perfection

I would wallow until you told me

There's no glitter in the gutter

There's no twilight galaxy.

Go higher than high.

Lower than deep.

I'm alright,c'mon baby...I've seen all the demons that you got.

Oh Mon Dieu

Fall '09 HC,which came out July 7th, potentially could have been Christian Lacroix's last Haute Couture Show.Ever.Lacroix has been on the Couture scene since '87.You can check out the complete collection at: http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/F2009CTR-CLACROIX Sad...

Better Recognize

Okay,so the Haterade is outta my system. I admit it, I like Lady Gaga.The bitch speaks her mind and she's helping to bring Disco back.But just for the record,y'all better recognize who did it first:Miss Grace Jones Baby.Model/Actress/Musician/Muse to Andy Warhol. Yea, that's right.She was one of Andy's Superstars. So if ya don't know,now ya knowww ;)

To whom it may concern...

Okay so none of y'all wanted to buy Mamba her LV pumps...so i'll make a proposition for ya.

I've been dying for something hooded I could incorporate into a Disco outfit ever since the Grace Jones Collection I did for Graphic Processing class back in '08.

So again,donations will be accepted.You can purchase this for Mamba at American Apparel :)

Hey!You look kinda cute...

505 Favorite,LMFAO, are coming to Ottawa y'all.The duo are widely known for tracks,"I Am Not a Whore" and "I'm in Miami Bitch".Check 'em out at Tila Tequila on August 2nd!

Keep rockin' even if you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebokin'

Kanye collaborates with Louis Vuitton for new sneaker line.Kicks sell for 700 US and up.

Review:My Sister's Keeper

It's been like 5 hours since I've seen this movie,and I still feel like I just got hit by a bus.This movie is the epitome of Emo.It's about a girl dying of lukemia,her crazy ass mom(Cameron Diaz) and her sister(Little Miss Sunshine).Can't really tell you very much or it will ruin it for you.The execution of the story is pretty corny,and not very grasping.Soldiers don't cry,that's why they wouldn't watch this movie.Don't know what I was thinking.Shout outs to Vladi for sitting beside my hour long tearfest haha.

RAPPER LOON TURNS HARDCORE MUSLIM

Rapper Loon, previously signed to Bad Boy Records with P. Diddy turned full blown to the muslim religion while on tour in Dubai last year. Definitely didn't see this coming, but do whatever makes you happy man.

HBD

Happy 21st Baby.My thoughts are with you everyday...

<3 Goldie

Runaway

Really like this song right now :)

Mimi in NY

Mea Culpa

"I'm writing a book."

"You're a writer? That's what you do?"

"Erm, no. I'm a Doctor."

Grind grind grind. But he's a writer as well as being a Doctor. Everyone's a writer. We all sign checks, therefore we are all writers in some small way. I'm a writer in the compulsive sense - I do it more often than I jack off. Do girls jack off? I'm unsure what the feminine term is. I don't do it. Hell, I don't need to, all that ancient old cock and thin, wasted thighs to rub against. Sexy. Today I'm drunk. I figured it works better with some vodka to wash it down, some dutch courage to make you care a little less. I flirt pretty well. I think they almost all believe me. My type is corporate, go with the suit, 35 give or take a few years, married, two children. Works every fucking time. You're such stereotypes boys, did no one ever tell you that, or are the only people who realize the ones in your pay? I'm sorry, didn't intend to insult, it just slipped out. Every girl has a trick. A moan in the ear, a little careless hand slippage, some murmured crap about their favorite vibrator. Mine is to choose carefully. Never go with the ones you couldn't fuck. Of course I lower the standards on a bad day. But this just serves to make the good days even more enjoyable.

So nice Mr Champagne comes in. I was talking about you today with Tommy the cashier.

"If he cares he'll come in," says Tommy. Oh yes. But care about what? What is there to care about? Tits and ass which'll last another ten years if I'm lucky, an acerbic personality. But I enoyed dancing for you. Nice kisser baby. Lots of practice with the intern? Though I'm unsure about the morality of making out in front of the driver. Still, I did it anyway. Though you're making me feel cheap with all the cash on your friend's credit card, it's paying the rent, so I can't complain. Am I with you for the money? It's all about money, every damned second in the club, which is why I'm telling you to take me out. Fuck the wife and kids, they've had their day. It's their turn for a non a/c apartment in a shitty Hasidic area of Brooklyn and grinding cock to make the rent.

Just kidding. I'm not that mean

If it was for the money I'd go with Mafia Joe sweetie. Believe it.

Got a new apartment. Lucy the stripper comes in midway through my Red Bull binge.

"East Village Baby! We're moving to the East Village!"

You got that INS? Want the zip code too?

They need a credit check. I don't do debt. I paid off my student loans from 4 years of college last year. I have a credit card I hardly use, a bank account in the UK which is barren and empty. Maybe this is the time I start calling Mafia Joe. Strangely, I would rather suck cock for 5 grand than have dinner with that fucking prick. Call me fickle.

It's all about money and it's not about money. I know your secrets, what turns you on, what makes you gasp, I don't know what makes you stay though. Never have. What makes me stay? I've never stayed anywhere, I couldn't tell you. Looks like I may be thrown out pretty soon though if encouraging Dave is anything to go by. Get back to your fucking PhD you right wing asshole.

Gosh, terribly rude today. So sorry.

Sometimes I don't want to explain. Just figure it out yourselves. That goes for you especially Mr Champagne.


Unemployment does wonders for people. Recently,I've been revisiting a blog I used to read back in the day.It's about a British writer who travels the world and ends up in NYC. She comes to the city to become a journalist, but as her Visa runs out she turns to stripping to pay the bills.She also came out with a book this year called,"Girl Undressed".I've yet to read it,but definitely putting it on my list of things to do. Great writer with alot of wit, and compassion for minorities.Check her out at www.miminewyork.blogspot.com/ and I suggest you start from the older posts.Enjoy :)

Like MJ in his early day

With the passing of Michael Jackson, MJ style is back on track.Gloves on one hand,MJ tribute shirts,slumpy/high white socks with shoes,red leather jackets etc. Hey, I ain't complainin'...

Hazy Review:Luxy

It was Vladi's 23rd, so we decided to celebrate at his place in North York. On the 30 minute subway ride there a bottle of rum was downed by J2 and I. As the party started to pick up, a Texas Mickey of Goose was downed in 20 minutes...and it was off to the club.That's a hotmess waiting to happen.As I stumbled out of the cab, I was very confused to be dropped off in front of a movie theater and miniput,which is where the club is located beside.Cover I believe was 10 dollars,not so bad for Toronto.I've been told the music was mostly hip-hop.Every few ladies J2 would yell you're a hot bitch and start dry-humping their legs, so I think the crowd consisted of mainly hot party hoes.Pretty good-lookin' club,good-lookin' people from what I remember and apparently sick beats.So if you're in the North York area.Check it outtt ;)It's located at 60 Interchange Way beside the Woodbridge AMC Theatre.The pic btw is the Vladtsa during the infamous danceoff haha.

Why helloooo

Shout out to Mamba's new T.dot BFF: Vladi. This is my boy breakin' it down in Cuba :)

Worst I Ever Had

Best I Ever Had Remixx...it's way better,or maybe I'm just bitter.

You wanna check into the Heartbreak Hotel but sorry we're closed

Le 505's favorite couple on again? Amber Rose and Kanye were spotted at last night's 2009 BET Awards lookin' slammin' as always.

Shoes Omg Shoes

Went to Holtz in T.dot the other day and spotted these grafitti LV pumps.Ahhh.They are to die for.You can purchase them for Mamba at the affordable price of $850...but any other donations will be accepted :)

Queef in my pants

RIP MJ

Michael Jackson passed away earlier today after suffering from a heart attack. RIP MJ.You were a little crazy but you will be missed...

New fashions from Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham came out with her first Spring line back around February and the shit looked gooood. This video features a couple of items that she has put out and I must say I am a fan. Definitely looking forward to seeing more of her stuff. Enjoyyyy

EPIC SHIT GOING DOWN JEWLY 11TH

Brock Lesnar, Mike Bisping, GSP! This is going to be one of the most epic UFC debuts for sure. Its all happening in Vegas and is going to feature fights from the heavy and welter weight champions of the world. No doubt my boy Georges Saint Pierre will do some damage to Thiego Alves and hold onto the title. GOOD LUCKKKKK boys, get down Charlie Brown

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer

Will Ferrell performing a lovely Andrea Bocelli ballad at the Catalina Wine Mizer in the movie Demi Fréres (Step Brothers), it doesnt get much better than this.

This is for Mamba

Tickle me emo! This video was found by Cretchma on youtube and I'd like to share it with all you le 505 viewers. Shout out to Mamba who is in t.o. doing her thing.

This is Jewlia Kelbrat

Walks like a model hands on her hips

Souljah boy meet Halle Berryyy Halle Berryy! This is my new favourite dance and I predict it to go down in history with Souljah & T.dot OH.I was lookin' online for people who could really break it down to the song and I found these guys.They're mad funny. Big ups to my girl Bubblez aka Miss Moira for introducing it to me...apparently it's the hottest thing in NYC these days.

So check out the instucional video at this link & I'll see you in the Club:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot7dfCIuvqM

Review:Andrews

Many a drunken night has been spent at Andrews which is located at 1239 Guy and St.Catherines in Montreal. Not the classiest of places but as Malaka once said,"I never try to be classy". They have great drink deals. For example,5 shots of Jagger for 10 dollars. They definitely have other better ones but I can never remember them.It just goes to show if you're lookin' for a cheap place to drink,Andrew's is where it's at.From the gamblers in the corner to the 3 Amigos Servers who come to grab an after work beer... this place is like a cubic zirconia in a crowd of diamonds and I wouldn't have it any other way. Except that they should bring back Sarah the bartender!

I like it when you call me Big Poppa

It's that time of year again...Where forgetful sons and daughter run to the local couchetard/shoppers for some last minute gift ideas. Big shout outs to Leonidus,George,Bryan "King of the Coop" Lochead,Papa Calkins,Papa Hughes and Peter Kelbrat.Happy Father's Day!

Guessing Game

These 2 former Pageant Girls and 2 members of the DP crew decided to take a last-minute roadtrip to le 514 from the 613 late Friday evening. Drinking began at le 505 upon arrival then proceeded downtown Montreal.

Can you guess which 2 of these 4 Flips ended up as pukebombs for the majority of the night until the next day causing several incidents such as:denial from multiple cabs, vomiting in front of several bars and a crowd of drunken bystanders, vomiting in cabs, forgetting people's names/exsistence etc. ?

505 Drinking Game

This Drinking Game is literally referred to as,"The Game", but what its name lacks in originality it makes up for in jokes.

You will need:
- a box,usually attained at Monday Arts&Crafts chez Cock&Bull...bowls/jars/hats etc. work to
-pieces of papers
-pens/pencils
-everyone's choice of poison(min.1 L wine/Mickey aka Pint per person).

Instructions:
1)Players must write a series of dares on the pieces of paper and put it in the box.Just remember ANYTHING goes
2)Players sit in a circle and take turns drawing dares out of the box.
3)After doing the dare everyone takes a shot.
4)Failure to do a dare results in chugging all of your alcohol in one shot.

The rules of the game are very simple but the results are EPIC.

SHOUT OUT

Even though the Lakers won the NBA Finals '09 last week. This pic was found in the Lost Archives of Leonidas' Laptop so we had to give a shout out to the Lakers and of couse to our man Kobe aka Black Mamba for taking MVP '09.

Throw Backkkk

Mamba's new pre-disco song :)

Lil Wayne is the man

Check out this interview Lil Wayne did with the view recently. He talks about everything from cough syrup to how his grill is ACTUALLY BRACES. He's quite the intelligent fellow, no homo I WANT TO LICK THE WRAPPERRRR.

Makeup trends

Ok, this girl is seriously a geek, but she KNOWS how to do makeup well. Bollywood has gotten pretty big on the movie scene lately and the face paint always looks fresh and funky, here is just one of the many tutorials this bitch does to show you how to achieve a look. Check out the Makeup Geek website to learn how to do pretty much any style of makeup.

http://www.makeupgeek.com/

Time isn't wasted when you're gettin' wasted

So you think you can drink? These 4 men just finished a 24-year long pub crawl last week and made it into the Guiness Book of World Records . They covered 14,000 different bars in
England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland while raising money for charity. These guys are champs!

Review:The Hangover

This movie made me miss you Malaka/Cretchma & INC.Everyone has been raving over "The Hangover"so I went to watch it this past Cheap-Night (Tues.) It's about a bachelor party gone horribly wrong. The boys go to Vegas and after having Jagger shots sans le bomb,everything goes to shit. They wake up the next morning to a tiger but no groom and then the whole movie consists of them trying to find him.Nudity/Asian
Gangsters/Strippers/Jagger/LasVegas Weddings/Borrowed Cars.Yup,it was like watching a 505 weekend. Definitely not on the level of StepBros/Pineapple Express, but I'd still recommend seeing it.

If youz a fly girl...get your nails done,get a pedicure,get your hair did.

Last week I found myself in a bit of a predicament. I was going out that night and needed my disco curls but I had forgotten my curling iron in the 514. I only had my straightener on me and I had noo idea how to curl with it, so like any modern woman would do... I googled that shit. I found an instuctional video on youtube and I got my slam on that night.So thank you thank you thank you youtube for saving the disconight & if you are in le same boat as I was check out the vid!

StyleWatch 613 :Peaches

New Gaga look

Globe trotting Lady Gaga landed at Incheon International Airport in Korea recently with this look, which is quite different from her usual style. Whaddya think?

Happy Birthday Tupac

The infamous rapper would've been 38 years old today. Rest In Peace. WEST SIDE.

Oh fuck, this kid again

This is another young kid doing surprisingly well on youtube
You can find him under BeenerKeeKee1995 and he has some pretty funny stuff too
Here he is doing a parody of Fred's famous video of when he went to the dentist
Jokes!

Fred... a.k.a Chris Calkins when he was 12

This is so painful to watch, but I just can't look away
I won't even lie IT IS COMICAL
I decided to share it with you all
Can you believe this video on youtube has 15,611,585 hits!!!
This kid was on the news recently (CNN!) and they reported that he has THE most hits on youtube. EVER.
Not too bad for a 14 year old
Enjoy.

R.I.P. Grand Prix

ahhhh, it seems like yesterday we were discoing with the Ottawa boys during this joyous occasion known as Grand Prix. Last year around this time (June 8th to be exact) Montreal was bustling with people from all over the world who came to watch the Formula 1 races on Jean Drapeau island. Montreal had hosted F1 for many years before the prestigiouts sporting event was given over to Abu Dhabi, the capital of the United Arab Emirates. The event will be missed by all and it is sad that it is not back this year, but it also marks to the day 1 year of knowing the infamous Ottawa boys. Happy anniversary ladiessss!

Festival Mode et Design

YO

so the annual Festival of Fashion & Design kicked off yesterday in Montreal. We have been the nation's fashion capital for four years in a row now and if you attend the festival you can definitely see why. The festival runs Wednesday through Saturday, and you can everything from live performances (like K-os last night), to shows where a designer will make a whole collection right in front of you. The festival showcases many designers such as Marciano, Foxy, Paracuso, but also shows a lot of the local talented designers and includes design schools like LaSalle College. The festival promises a lot of exciting exhibitions everyday from 12 noon until 10:00pm and MANY after parties, it is definitely the place to be this week in Montreal.

BRUNO-JEWLY 10TH

DAMN! Watch this trailer and don't tell me that it's the funniest thing ever! As two people who love fashion we can't wait to see Sacha Baron Cohen in his new role as a gay fashion reporter from Austria. He has defnintely done it again with his new character "Bruno", with every stunt you can imagine from wearing an all velcro suit to Milan fashion week and getting stuck to all the clothes, to camping out with a bunch of homophobes in the southern United states and almost getting killed (for real) when he compares them all to the Sex & the City girls. Seriously, you've got to watch this, the man is brilliant.

CFDA AWARDS '09

& The Winners are...

Womenswear Designer of The Year: Kate & Laura Mulleavy for Rodarte

Menswear Designer of The Year: *Tied* Scott Sternberg for Band of Outsiders and Italo Zucchelli for Calvin Klein Collection

Accessory Designer of The Year:Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez for Proenza Schouler

New Designers who have made an impact on the industry are awarded with the Swarovski Awards. They are also given an undisclosed amount of money with a supply of Swarovski Crystals to use for their next season.

& The Winners are...

Womenswear: Alexander Wang

Menswear: Tim Hamilton

Accessory Design: Justin Giunta for Subversive

HOE DOWN

Beloved 505 family member Jessica had her tonsils taken out and isn't doing too hot. Why she had them taken out? We're assuming too much vodka, but it also could've very well been tonsil stones as the rumour is going around. Either way we're bummed out she couldn't make it up to the 505 with Jewlia next week because of this surgery, we just want her to have a full recovery so she can come up and disco twice as hard to make up for it. We'll be pouring out some Caballero for you hommie. One love. See you at the crossroads.

CRYSTAL KELBRAT OWNS A DAEWOO

Yes my friends, this is true. Crystal Kelbrat just got a little bit closer to our hearts with her classy vehicle. Watch out, because Crystal is currently low riding on the streets of Halifax in a smoking red Chevy Aveo made by Daewoo Canada. You can catch her yelling random things out the window such as; "I'M HUNGRY", "OOMMPPHHELIA", "
ATTTTTTTACCCCCCCCCCCKLKKKKK", and "WAITING FOR THE BUS, WAITING FOR THE BUS, DO DO DO DO DOOO DOOO DOOO DOOOO". If you see this fine little red vehicle creeping around you should get out the way, unless you want to be killed my a Daewoo Lanos motha fuckaaaa.

Jessica Kelbrat's Mr. New Booty

This post just in, coming live from Crystal Kelbrat in her hometown of Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Jessica Kelbrat has recently been seen canoodling around town with her new man, Carvery, a.k.a. Scream Mask. The couple met at Welf-Mart near the pubs, and were instantly smitten.

We wish much joy to the happy couple, may the pubs be with jew.

p.s.

Crystal Kelbrat is also known to be completely full of shit, and constantly has her pants on fire.

I’m here to elevate, I’ll be floating in outer space now

Usually not into K-os that much cuz they kill it on the radio,but this song is pretty tight...

Style Watch: Ottawa

Dee & Mickey spotted at the Rideau Center.

Mamba goes Gaga

Okay, so I'm not gonna lie.I was straight playa-hatin' on the bitch until I watched this interview...

We SLAM, soooo hard

Here in le 505 we support your slamminism, it's a way of life. What can I really say? If you feel like you slam hard enough, then get down Charlie Brown, we support jew. Send in your slammin pictures and we'll give you a shout out.

MURSES

A man purse, also known as a "Murse", is a hot commodity in men's fashion today. They can be spotted on all different kinds of men, from straight, emo, metro, and even to this fagala right here. Simon's in downtown Montreal carries some very good ones, or you can go with the traditional Lacoste or Louis Vuitton. Murses have been popping up everywhere lately and honestly, Snoop has one? Ya gotta get one. I predict men skirts will make a comeback next... We'll get the 505 fagala to try out the trend soon.

OFFICIAL VEHICLE OF LE 505

DAEWOO MOTHA FUCKAAA.

Classic car, inspired by the Cheech & Chong movie of our generation, Pineapple Express. If you haven't watched it, I strongly suggest you do so. Immediately.

Not just for the Stoners

Tobacco deaths per year:Over 450,000. Alcohol deaths per year: Nearly 100,000. Deaths by Marijuana:0. Considering these facts,why is it that in 2006 nearly 800,000 people were arrested in the States for pot yet alcohol and tobacco are legal government controlled substances? This one is definitely an eye opener."The Union:The business behind getting high" came out in 2007. It's a documentary that follows filmmaker,Adam Scorgie, on how an illegal industry can function while being illegal. He also covers other marijuana-related subjects such as the health benefits of pot .I urge you to watch this film, specially if you are anti-4/20...it will change your perspective on things.

You can watch this film for free at the following link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9077214414651731007

Style Watch: Ottawa

The always fashionable Fahad spotted at the National Arts Center.

Speaking of birthday sex...

Everyone's favorite Fashionistas/Skinny Bitches turn 23 today. It seems like just yesterday they fully took over multi-million dollar company Dualstar. Happy Birthday ladies!

Don't need candles or cake.Just need your body to make good...

Birthday Sex by Jeremih. If you haven't already heard this jam then get on it. Even if it ain't your birthday it'll have you singing :) Also, check out the heels the video hoe rocks in the first scene...to die for!

Get down girl go 'head Get downnn

If you like to get down to Hip-hop music then Diesel is the place to be. But if you can't handle a crowded area, then you better keep on steppin'... The venue is pretty small so you gotta hold your own, but other then that it guarantees a bumpin' night. We got there around midnight and there wasn't a mad lineup, which is pretty rare when it comes to Ottawa nightlife. Then it was off to the bar for some Gin and Tonics with a side of Tequila. With Mamba you know what comes next...the dance floor of course! A little rendez-vous with some oldschool jamz from Biggie and Usher and it was off to Chinatown for some 5am Pho. So if you're in Ottawa check it out.It's located on the corner of Elgin and Gladstone.

REAL MEN DON'T TAP

Malaka et Shirlena UFC weekend. Just had to post this oneeee, April 18th, the night we took DOWN Mr. Iceman himself and put him into early retirement. R.I.P. Chuck, love ya man.

Brotha from anotha motha

Mr. Don Juan himself

R.I.P. black talking phone

It was a sad day in 505 history when Malaka's black LG muziq phone was finally laid to rest in Hamilton, Ontario in the wee hours of June 7, 2009 . Malaka had been living with the phone for about 2 weeks with no screen before the phone gave out entirely and she ripped it into two pieces. The phone will be remembered for it's talking features, and that it was supposed to play music but only did so at the most inappropriate times. The phone was very slow and obviously had a severe disability from the beginning, but here on the block we don't discriminate. It's favortie sayings were, "Pobujew", and "New text message, from, SHAHLEEENAAA". The phone was only 10 months old. Malaka is currently in the process of getting a new one, or hooking up the old Motorola RAZR as soon as she finds a charger for it. You may contact her via hotmail as she doesn't deal with any facebook bullshit at ehughese@hotmail.com, or you can send her a fucking Motorola RAZR charger.

Thanks,

-Management